"Never date a married man"...shouldn't this be a given? Does it even need to be taught or said out loud. I'm pretty sure my Christian school up bringing mentioned it, an affair caused my parents divorce and Sex and the City certainly showed me examples of why it is a bad idea. But so many people do it, me included...and I am not a stupid girl, at least not when it comes to other things. When it comes to men...I need some kind of warning sign hanging around their neck in pink neon writing.
Now, I love my married boyfriend and I believe he loves me...I even believe that things are starting to progress. But, I am tired of being patient and I am especially tired of spending 70% (and that is low balling it) of my time without him. I wish his sign would have said..."here is a good guy who may give you everything you want (someday) but just so you know...it will take him a year to go to mediation, another year in mediation, you won't know his kids for the first 18 months or so and when you celebrate your 2 year anniversary...the divorce papers still won't be filed and he will be living with his wife". At least I would have known what I was getting into and could have decided if this is what I wanted before I fell deeply in love with him.
It is halfway through October and it is my "off" week, I haven't seen my boyfriend in 3 days, I don't know when I will see him and I am super pissy about it. He is sick with a fever and in bed...I can't stop by, I can't bring him anything, I can't help him in any way. It fucking sucks. I hate my every other week relationship, I hate our separate lives, I hate feeling single most of the time, I hate the fact that he lives with her and not with me. He tells me he wants things to be different and I obviously choose to believe him. I wonder if it will take another year to file papers or another year for him to move out...will we celebrate our 5 year anniversary and still not live together?
When I met him my sign would have said "here is a great girl who wants to share a happy life with someone and give you everything you want...and just so you know...she wants to be married (in the next few years) wants an amazing step dad for her son and wants to build a family with someone...she wants to be loved and adored and give back the same". But, he didn't need a sign...I was honest about what I wanted from day one and it has never changed.
