Florida x 4

I'm in florida with my boyfriend for the fourth time in the last two years. I love, love his family and I think that most of them love me. But, I feel an awkwardness (real or imagined) around the fact that he is still married and I am still the other woman. His mother always has questions for me about their divorce and recently told me I was stupid for staying with him. His own mother...

His parents have a sheet on their desk with all the kids phone numbers, spouses and grandkids included. Rebecca is still on there and I am not, that hurts my feelings even though I know it shouldn't. Just because I feel like I am around permanently doesn't mean anyone else is so sure about it. On the other side of it, I'm the one who is on the kid picture table and his mom even put my boys on the grandkid table.

"Shit or get off the pot". This is what his sister told him well over a year ago. His lack of getting the divorce proceedings going has made his family (and me) wonder if he ever will actually get one. I think they are afraid that he will stay with her and don't want to burn any bridges there.

I want to be a Pasquariello, that is a definite first for me. I fucking love Greg and that is the first reason...but, I also want to be one because I want his family to be my family...I want his kids to be my family. I want to spend summers at the beach in Florida with the kids. I want my email to be celeta@pasq.net :)


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